[NoHo Arts District, CA] – A NoHo Arts theatre review of Deborah Unger’s The Longer My Mother is Dead the More I Like Her the Whitefire Theatre SOLOFEST.
Deborah Unger has been a storyteller most of her life. Growing up, she found refuge from life as an Army brat in the arts, as many of us do. But for Deborah, it became a lifelong pursuit. As an actress ,her credits are long. On TV and in film and in the threatre, her longest love.
So creating a solo show about her life seems like a bit of a no brainer. But life complicates everything…and the wonderful The Longer My Mother is Dead the More I Like Her took her 15 years to complete. Changing in form and focus time and time again. Reinventing itself, as Deborah had spent years of her childhood doing, moving from place to place, always being the new kid in school.
In the end, it was her relationship with her mother that became the story she tried to avoid. But we are all products of our surroundings, and the recurring voices in our heads are as uncontrollable as the ones outside of them. So Deborah is finally listening to her mother’s voice, after their tumultuous relationship and long periods of silence. And what she hears now is finally making sense.
The Longer My Mother is Dead the More I Like Her is a very funny and deeply insightful show. Yes, it’s about her mother and her. And yes, the mother is present on stage as a truly brilliant sidekick and constant, sometimes unwelcome companion. But this is far more intricate than most solo narratives.
Deborah seeks to understand her mother. To ‘know’ her more now in death than she ever did in life. Perhaps it’s easier to give in to the love while accepting the difficult details once the other person isn’t around to keep upping the ante. I know my own relationship with my adult daughter, now a mother of her own, is sometimes more than a bit fraught, but is often improved upon by the occasional absence. It’s the stubbornness and the all-knowing intimacy of mother-daughter relationships that can make or break them. Some people can just know just too much about us to give us even the smallest break. Deborah is a genius at unwrapping the difficult bond of parent and child. The “I’m only trying to help you,” and the “it’s for your own good” and the infamous classic, “you’ll thank me someday.” She creates a story around it, in fact, and as the deepening frustration between them deepens still more into brutal understanding, Deborah begins to see her own reflection in the memories she unfolds. Which is a shock, to say the least. But also a comfort.
The Longer My Mother is Dead the More I Like Her is a wonderful, candid and often hilarious glimpse into what for Deborah became an unbreakable bond with her mother.
Even though at time is was pushed to the limits. Solo shows are the perfect place for this kind of familial fun and also the very best place to find yourself as an artist. Deborah Unger is an artist and a beautifully written and brilliantly performed opus. A tribute to her mother, a “thank you” for everything. I did weep a little, and I laughed an awful lot more! Bravo!
You can find out more about Deborah and her show, The Longer My Mother is Dead the More I Like Her on her website.